Whadda Week

Sparing all the gruesome details, here's a wrap-up of our week:

Saturday
I woke up sick. Fever and aches. Yuck. I had a pretty good idea it was allergies, but I knew the true test would be to see if Harper and Jon would wind up sick as well. They didn't.

Rest of the weekend I just did the best I could. Saturday night my fever finally broke around 2am which meant I got some sleep without those weird dreams that are caused by fevers. Those things are weird, man.

Monday morning
Wasn't sure I was going to make it into work on Monday, but following the old "24 hours without a fever" rule, I sucked it up and got Harper and myself out the door.

Then my phone rang.

To sum it up in a nutshell, everyone received notification on Monday morning that HSBC was closing the doors on its Auto Finance business. This would be our last "open" week of operations and everyone was being handed their walking papers (with a tidy severance). EVERYONE. Including me. Including every single one of my coworkers. Including my BOSSES. And THEIR bosses. And so on, and so on...

Of course I called Jon the second I hung up and after initial shock, we both felt like we had a peace about it. All of us have known that it could potentially go down this road eventually. With the mortgage mess, to the economy, gas prices, and now the car industry - things have been tough for us. But we had done such a good job of doing everything "they" asked us to do to pair down, hit goals, change procedures... that we thought maybe we were going to dodge the bullet and the company would keep us (Auto Finance) around a little while. I figured I'd get a severance and just do my best to find another job as quickly as I could, then benefit from the double (triple) income for a while, and plan what we'd do with the bonus.

Monday Afternoon
I'm not losing my job. Everyone else is, but I'm not. WHAT?? Here's the part where I spare most of the details, but in a nutshell, the company is moving me to another department in the same position. This department will eventually shut down as well, but there are no promises as to how long (or short) it will be open -- anywhere from 6 months to 2 years.

hmph. Mixed emotions. Glad I have security. SO thankful I have a job obviously, which is more than everyone else can say. Just trying to process it all.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday
Very, very surreal. I'm barely sleeping 4 hours a night and am not eating very much. People shredding everything. Projects come to a halt and trashed. Nothing is the same. None of my usual tasks matter anymore. The calendars that I worked so hard to keep organized can be deleted. It's all gone. Shred bins over flowing. Desks cleared off.

Wednesday we said goodbye to our first wave of people, our Funders. Lots of tears. Hugs. Trading of phone numbers. Not fun.

Wednesday the crew also started work on our foundation. ugh. Throw something else on the pile, why dontchya? Thankfully Jon was home to deal with all this and I just came home to huge holes in our ground that led to under our house. Fun.

Friday
Anger. Frustration. Nothing was fair about Friday. All my coworkers were leaving. I was staying. They didn't have a job. I did -- albeit one that I wasn't thrilled about having since I don't know how long I'll be there for anyway. And one that I wasn't even asked if I wanted. I may sound ungrateful here, but Friday I was so angry that I wasn't given the option of going. There's more to the story, but URRGGHH!! I didn't want to stay! Me staying meant someone else was going, and that's not fair.

Lots more tears. Speeches. Hugs. Laughs. "See ya later"s. "It's a small industry, we'll cross paths again", and people telling me to "take care of that sweet baby" which just made me break down more.

I realized something Friday amongst all the tears and frustration and goodbyes. These people were my friends. I don't know many people here and still feel like a new Texan. I remember coming into this place a 16 months ago and immediately being welcomed. Thinking how nice everyone was and realizing "ahhh, so this is Southern Hospitality". It took a while to get to know some, and longer to know others, but these were my friends. I know about their lives, they know about mine. I've met some of their families. And most I will never see again. It's hard to explain how you actually look forward to going to work in some ways, to see people, to talk to people, to share with people. I don't really have that here, outside of my family. Work was a family to me -- everyone felt that way.

I have no doubt that most everyone will move on to bigger and better things. Some will struggle. Some will change careers completely, being scarred by this experience, having no hope for the industry. I look forward to hearing from people, learning what they're up to in a few months' time. I wish everyone the best.

In the meantime, I'll be training for my new job, learning the ins and outs, then being left to figure the rest out for myself. I've decided I'm not going to try to get to know many of my new coworkers, because, gosh darnit, I can't go through this all again. (Only half-joking there). But I'm going to do my best to move forward, pick myself up and see what's ahead in my future. I have no idea what it will bring, but I trust in the Lord and know that He will lead me.

Oh, and our foundation is even again.
And I'm still sick.